HARD TIMES...

Actually, where do i start write i don't know really. Since start of 2013 until now i feel like hopeless and upset because i am alone and no job. When i think back times it was really good times but now this like a hell... Everyday i am just thinking why people give me a oppurtunaty for job or something so i am just asking ''WHY?'' I discuss to my parents everyday  we are not happy at that times. I'm looking for new things for get energy and motivation because these things more important for me. When i go out, i see people and they look happy and their don't care nothing. When i see them, later i see myself and asking me what happened to me? Why am i hopeless and upset? Questions, questions... The big problem is loneliness for me. When i was a child i was alone to now. I have told you before i have a stutterer problem but some people  think this is not problem for other people. This problem is just can kill you for example you are in a meet or part when you start talk no one don't listen you and they are turning for speak  to other people. That time you just get shock and you can not anything. Anyway like i said i had told you before. Nowadays i am still contining my restless times and last sunday my restless the highest point reached. Since December 2013 i have joined a youth centre in Bursa. That place has changed me for example, social life, new friends, new projects about volunteer programmes, work groups etc... Last sunday i decided to left youth centre because this day was a problem and i could not resist later i left. I don't want to explaing why i left them because this is a little bit of special. When i left them as first i feel like upset,high-strung and crazy. Just asked me again ''WHY!'' Everything was going well but stupid things can finish your like things. I still don't believe for left. Anyway, what do i want you know people? Not much money, not a lot of girls, not super model cars etc.. I just want to be relax and peaceful.Is that possible? Some people say yes but other people no. Well just i want to know, why are we living? For what? For who? Can you watch television? I open television everyday and i am seeig war... Wars in everywhere! Dead children, no human rights, no peace... So why are we living...? I am 26 years old now and i don't understand this life. In my view we are be social and volunteer. Give support to everybody! For example when i go to job interview, companies are not looking my face. We are not a slave or other bad things... Anyway this subject has been a little bit political but if i cannot look a job or something this is a little bit about political.(According to me) Lastly, i am just waiting for new opportunaties but wait wait wait one day we will die and we will not understand why we are living...